Idioms and Phrases

There are a couple of things that happen to me before I get up to sing in public. One, I get very nervous. A well dressed old black man with sunglasses once gave me advice on singing. He was a singer. He said, “You need to relax.” I’ve been trying ever since with varied success. 

            The other thing that happens to me before I sing is I have to take a crap. I guess I’m scared shitless as the saying goes. It’s the worst kind of timing in the world. 

  

Just for You

I went down the hill to see Bill the Google Master at his auto shop. He’s been extolling the benefits of grocery shopping at Von's Market for weeks now. They have a value program called Just For You that he loves and talks about at any opportunity. 
            Bill will lose his train of thought mid sentence and blurt out prices from the program, “Progresso Soup, two for a dollar,” 

            “Yeah, but think of the sodium content,” I countered.

            “No! it’s light.”

            Bill showed me a Mustang he was bidding on, on Ebay. There was a video presentation attached to it. 

            “What do you think? Should I buy it?

            “You already have a Mustang, what are you going to do with it?”

            “No this one is way better. I’m going to drive this one.”

            I tried to talk him down, but realized that you can’t talk sense to a gear head when it comes to buying cars.

            “Lucerne yogurt $2.47 each. They're giving it away!”

            

Krishnamurti

Things have been coming easily to me. The other day, I was walking with my head down as I’m prone to do,  and when I looked up there was a table saw sitting by the curbside. I’ve been hoping for a table saw for quite some time. I’d wake up mornings thinking about how great it would be to have a table saw to cut wood perfectly straight.

I walked home and fetched my car and loaded the table saw onto the trunk of my convertible. I held onto it with one hand while I drove down a steep hill, and then up a steep hill. It was meant to be. I got it to my cabin in one piece.

            The following day I drove up to Ojai with my lady friend. Neither of us had been to Ojai so it was exciting. We got to the city and drove out of town a few miles. I was following three cars into the orange groves. It looked like they knew where they were going. They peeled off onto different roads and I kept going up the hill. I turned my head and I saw a sign that read Krishnamurti Center. I turned around and drove up the driveway. It turned out to be Krishnamurti’s place of residence. It was an impressive piece of land. It had orange groves and three houses on the property. The property manager gave us a tour. “Pick as many oranges as you like,” she said. We picked a few oranges for the drive home. I had no idea Krisnamurti lived in Ojai. It was a great find.