Tree Ivy

            
            I got the skin itch on my shoulder. It looks like hives or poison ivy. I'm calling it "herpes on my shoulder." I'm trying to cure it naturally. Baking soda works pretty good. Lemon isn't bad either. I've noticed it's calmed down some, but it's persistent.
            A couple of tree trimmers were doing a job next door. I asked them if they'd do me a favor and cut a branch from a tree that I'd become accustomed to conking my head on. They obliged. I was breaking down the branches and leaves with my shirt off, and the leaves from the tree must have gotten tree revenge on me. Or who knows where it came from. I don't recommend it though.
            Let's see, what else is going on? I was waiting for a fish burrito when I noticed a car parked at the curb that looked like a running shoe. I was thinking that whoever designed that car was moonlighting as a shoe designer. The owner of the car was a blonde lady that was sitting next to me. I thought about initiating conversation with her. I was going to lean in and say, "Do you know your car looks just like a tennis shoe," but I caught myself.                             
            Because you know, sometimes I say things, like, "herpes on my shoulder."

Two Chickens Or An Egg?

            
            I checked the time. It was four-forty eight a.m. I lay in bed looking at the sky. The air was thick and heavy. I could see a small band of clouds floating in the distance. I thought about the chicken and the egg conundrum and I was feeling confident I could solve it. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. Wait, there's another problem here, how did the male and female chicken come about. Time created two distinct chickens not just the chicken and the egg. There are other factors involved here. The question should be what came first, the male chicken, the female chicken, or the egg. The female chicken could have come with an egg within her, but you'd still need a male chicken to fertilize it. Unless, of course, the egg came pre-fertilized, which would solve the conundrum providing the hatchling was male. Hmmm. I was digging a hole for myself.
            I looked out the window and saw a silver flashing skyrocket exploding in the air. It looked like a long stream of glitter as it flew. Someone was awake just like me and lighting fireworks at five in the morning and I was fortunate enough to see it. I was overcome by joy. The person who had lit the skyrocket was living and that made me happy. 
            I went back to thinking. How did it happen that both male and female came into existence? How long did that take? Billions of years? I looked out the window. There was another silvery-glittering skyrocket flying through the air. It made a sizzling, crackling sound as it traveled. Whatever the answer, life was great.