NSA, The Nefarious Spy Agency

Hello Anthony, this is your government. After reading your last email, we wanted to say that we hope your aunt Mary makes a full recovery after her surgery. Huntington Memorial is a fine hospital and Doctor Lee is a outstanding surgeon. According to our records he only has one malpractice suit pending at this time and it’s an ongoing suit from 2011. He says he didn’t do it, but his conversations with his wife seem to suggest something different.

            We’ve noticed that the frequency of emails from your lady friend have decreased in recent weeks. Don’t worry; according to our algorithms this is a natural occurrence, but you might want to buy her flowers just in case. 

            We'd like to let you know there are other women looking at your facebook account, but they seem to lose interest after looking at your pictures, as it stands they click on 2.27 pictures before they move on. We suggest that you make improvements in this area.

            Well, Anthony, just one more thing before we go, can you please refrain from calling the NSA the Nefarious Spy Agency? It’s a matter of national security that we make this request, and more to the point, it hurts our feelings. 

Harry Nilsson

Saturday night, nine-seventeen p.m, I began watching a documentary about Harry Nilsson, a man I never knew. Sure, I’ve heard his songs, but I didn’t know the details of his life. And after watching the documentary I still don’t know who he really was. I know he liked to have a good time, and that he was stubborn, and a baby maker. I know he had famous friends, and had trouble performing live for people. It was an entertaining documentary. I enjoyed it. It always surprises me when a man can sing in key. Parts of Harry’s life were very sad. Yet, it seemed that Harry had an army of angels surrounding him, for he could do no wrong, although he did wrong much of the time.

Eleven–nineteen p.m. I checked my phone for messages. I had one. It was from Bill the Google Master. It read, “You ever heard of Harry Nilsson?”

                 I’m thinking of changing Bill the Google Master's name to Spooky the Spooky Guy.