It never fails. Whenever I'm asked "how are you doing, or, how've you been?" My brain finds a way to seize up on me. I don't think I've ever answered that question to my satisfaction. I rarely think about how I've been, so when I'm asked, I'm caught off guard. And how you answer a question like that can have an effect on a relationship.
If I played golf it would be easy. "I've been playing a lot of golf." But I don't play golf, and to condense my life into a few words is not realistic. But I try. "Ah, I've been pretty good, I'm writing songs and working on my book."
But this answer leaves me feeling empty inside. I leave out the juicy parts, the details of my life. I don't tell anybody that I've rewritten my book hundreds of times, or that sometimes writing a song can take months. They don't always take months, but sometimes they do. And when I'm finished writing a song, I may or may not even use it.
A part of me wants to carry a scroll with the particulars of my life. When somebody asks me what have I been up to, I could reach for my scroll and read it top to bottom without having to think about it. But that will never happen. I'm not going to carry a scroll. That's just plain silly.
So instead, I'm going to try to be more honest about it when I'm asked how I'm doing.
"I wish I could explain it to you, but it's not easy."
