The Animals

            I figured out how to attract animals to my BBQ. Just pour a little sardine juice onto some leaves. I ate a can of sardines and I wasn't sure what to do with the juice. I didn't want to trash it in my cabin. I figured the smell would be unpleasant.
            I'm not sure what kind of animal it was. A clumsy animal, I know that. I heard a ruckus on my deck. I looked outside but I didn't see anything. It was too dark. The leaves were rustling in the distance. I could tell the animal was looking at me, and that he was frightened. I think he felt bad for knocking things over. Wild animals are sensitive creatures. If it weren't for the kill, and the food chain thing, they'd be more lovable.     
            Some people become friends with wild animals. I've never had that talent. I leave them alone. I've thought about becoming friends with the raccoons and the skunks, but deep down, I don't trust them. There's nothing comforting about a squirrel. I'm trying to become friends with a woodpecker. He's in the tree now. I realized that woodpeckers don't like to work alone. They like a little company. But you can't look at them while they work. They'll fly away then. It's best if you work while they work. I think they're community oriented. 
            Later that night I dreamt of coyotes. The coyotes were friendly in my dream. They showed me their den, and they were running about excitedly. I was honored to be their guest. I felt a vortex of energy that I defined as coyote consciousness shooting through me. I could see it in the sky too. It was shaped like a tornado. The energy was swirling upwards until it reached the widest point. At the moment the energy peaked, I understood that I was one with the coyotes. As the realization came to me in my dream, in reality, the coyotes that live on the hill across the way started to howl. Yip, yip, yip. It was a frenzied sound that woke me from a dead sleep. A smile came to my face. "That was cool."

It's Not Easy

            I spent a day at the Desert Hot Springs Inn. It was seven dollars to get in. There's a bunch of pools with mineral water from an hot springs aquafier. The water comes up at a hundred and forty degrees, but they cool it down to a hundred and five. It's a good place for a soak. The clientele is usually older. I noticed a lot of skinny thighs. I'm not sure why there were so many skinny thighs, or how, but there were and I found that interesting.
            There's a diner and bar, should you have the urge to eat or drink. The waitresses at the diner were the salt of the earth. I'm amazed when people are so nice. It makes me feel good. But I do wonder how they manage to keep so even-keeled. It's something I aspire to, but have difficulty with. I'm quick to react to imbecilic behavior. It messes up my moods. Any mention of Congress and my blood starts to boil. If you really want to get to me say, "citizens united." Or stick me in a car and ask me to drive. I turn mean as a matter of survival then. So when I saw those sweet ladies working behind the counter, it was a stark reminder of how things are supposed to be. 

Victoria No Secret

            I was waiting for an order of fish tacos. There were a few of us waiting. I saw a heavy set woman pick up her phone. She talked into it. I'm pretty sure she was talking to Siri. I heard her say, "Victoria's Secret," in a loud voice as people tend to do when they talk to their phones.
            My first thought was, eew. But then I changed my mind. Oh that's cool, she wants to look sexy. Nothing wrong with that. Her man was sitting across from her. He looked disinterested. I took another look at her and imagined her in panties. I was making it hard on myself.
            I picked up a bottle of salsa that was sitting on the table and read the ingredients. It was a simple recipe. I'm not sure they're going to have her size, it occurred to me. I thought about how big the panties would be. Think of something else Anthony. You're being mean and judgmental. I couldn't do it. I kept looking at the woman. She looked nice enough. Maybe a tinge depressed. She had droopy cheeks. She was getting old. Why? Why am I thinking about this? Why did she have to talk to her phone? Now her business is my business, and don't want her business to be my business. Go away lady, leave me alone! 

The Gift

            I saw a neighbor I've never seen before. He was a husky man in his forties, with long salt and pepper hair. Is that the wizard, I wondered? I wanted to walk up to him and ask, but I couldn't rightfully do that. "Are you the wizard?" Awkward silence.
            I'm convinced the wizard is a mature man on account of his repertoire. Although, the thought of the wizard being a young kid has crossed my mind. I'm looking for somebody slightly overweight, with chubby fingers. It's been my experience that those are the best guitar players in the world. They seldom become famous outside of their hometown. But it's usually the oddly shaped fellows that have the gift. They're the kids you ignored in school. The nondescript. The invisible. It's part of being a wizard I think. You can't be a wizard if people are hounding you. Wizards are sensitive and need a lot of space. This man fit the bill. He looked like a wizard, but for his worn t-shirt and oversized Bermuda shorts. 

A Good Year

            I didn't do much on New Year's Eve. I laid low. Thank god for my Mexican neighbors or it wouldn't have felt like New Years at all. They held it down with firecrackers and cheers. I even heard an old school toy horn blowing. That brought back memories. I'm happy to have lived another year. Frankly, I never got use to writing 2014. I seemed to mess up the four, or have to think about the year before I wrote it down. I think 2015 will be different.
            My New Years resolution is to stop saying the word stupid. That's going to be a tough one, considering we have whole industries dedicated to stupid. We have politicians that vote stupidly, we have sports commentators that say stupid things, we have day time TV that is stupid, we have school curriculums that encourage stupid. There are investors that invest in stupid. I am a product of stupid. The schools I went to taught stupid. The word is easy to use, and frankly, I've been blurting it out far too often. So good-bye old year and stupid, and hello new year and imbecilic. With time comes change. 

The Arroyo Seco

            I spent the day at the Arroyo Seco. Once I put the tragedy of the cement creek behind me, I was fairly happy. The cement creek was a constant reminder of man's insensitivity. I kind of got over it eventually, but mistakes of that magnitude are hard to ignore. I'd look at the blue sky and think, wow that's beautiful, and then I'd look at the cement creek, and say, what happened? It went on like that. I started throwing rocks into the cement creek eventually. It was my way of solving the problem of ugly. The rocks echoed as they hit the water, then bounced out and lay flat on the riverbed. They looked out of place as they lay there. It was ironic. I walked nearly five miles so there were things to enjoy. Plant life mostly- sage, oak trees, sycamore trees, and wooly blue curls. 

The Big Barber

            I got a haircut. At my barber shop there's a fat barber who I try to avoid and a skinnier barber who I try to get. I walked in yesterday and the fat barber was relaxing in his chair. The minute I opened the door he turned around and smiled.
            "Perfect timing," he said to me.
            He had me cornered, so I sat down and hoped for the best. There were a couple of other guys in the shop, but they weren't there for haircuts. They were there to socialize and crack jokes. Nothing was off limits to these guys, gay jokes, momma jokes, jokes about girlfriends, jokes about dogs that ran away. There were personal attacks on appearance. It was great. I couldn't stop laughing. I tried to keep my head still. The big guy has trouble as it is, and I didn't want any jump cuts. 
            As for the haircut, I look like Hitler youth. No matter how much water or hair product I use, there's a section of hair towards the back of my head that sticks straight up. It's agitated. The fat guy messed me up again. Merry Christmas big guy.