Cures For Road Rage

         
           I have a new strategy for driving. Rather than becoming aggravated by bad drivers, I'm trying to be more sympathetic. When someone's driving too fast and tailgating, I'll tell myself, oh they probably ate spicy chiles and need to find a bathroom before they shit themselves. And if someone is driving too slow I'll tell myself, they probably have a baby in the car, or a cake, or four large Cokes from In N Out in a flimsy cardboard holder. 
            If someone does something stupid like pull a left turn in front of me, I'll say, oh they probably just had brain surgery. And if a driver drives selfishly, my answer is, they're probably royalty.
            I'm having fun with my new game. It doesn't always work. I still lose my cool from time to time, but at least I can amuse myself. I'm easily amused.

The Quiet Revolution

         
           How do the rich and powerful influence governments? Answer: money. A lot of money? Not really, you'd be surprised how cheaply you can buy a congressman. 
            I haven't really said much about our new leaders in government. From the outside looking in, it looks bad. And I'm sure from the inside looking out it looks even worse. I've read the Facebook posts and from what I can tell people are well intentioned, but their ideas for resistance are anything but focused. Some people are talking revolution, and others are trying to form an underground, but if you know anything about history you'll understand that violent revolutions are rarely, if ever, successful.
             So I'd like to make a suggestion to my liberal friends, those good people who are trying to do right. If money is the basis of power, why don't we start with that and divest from banks and institutions that aren't contributing to the greater good of the planet. If you're a liberal and politically active and still banking at Chase, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, you're missing the point and not using your power. In fact you're wasting it by giving it to corporate structures that have no concern for nature or people. Find a good credit union. Buy products that help instead of hurt the planet. Try to be good the best you can. It's not easy I know, but start with where you put your money.
             How we spend our money is the new revolution, it's the quiet revolution in which the enemy structures to people and the planet have absolutely no defense. 

Facebook Gurus

         
           I tend not to listen to people who deem themselves spiritual. I'm not saying I'm not spiritual, I'm just saying there's a lot of lost mother-scratchers out there who are pretending to be wise. Wisdom doesn't come from a book, or just one teacher, it comes from a lifetime of discovery and making mistakes. It's the wise old man, and the wise old lady that we seek for answers. It's never the kid wearing diapers in a playpen. You don't need to be old to be wise, but you need some time to discover, and sometimes it feels as though newfound discoveries are confused for wisdom when they are just small pieces to the wisdom pie. 
           When I was younger it was important to me to be right, to win an argument, to express my beliefs, to convince others to think like me. I don't feel that need as much anymore. The fact is, I've learned over the years that some people are just plain dumb, and no matter how you try to explain it to them, they'll never understand it. 
            But I digress. Newfound gurus, people who are on the search for answers that are right in front of their eyes, they're just as confused as everybody else, but for some unexplained reason they have the need and desire to suggest they have all the answers. 

         
            

Flipping Bills

         
           I was at the grocery store buying a couple of tall-boys.
           $6.48, the cashier said. 
           I pulled out my wallet and started flipping through my bills. I had just gotten paid and I had more money than usual.
           I was peeling back the bills trying to find a five. I had a bunch of twenties, but I didn't want to use a twenty, because I don't like small bills and change.
           I usually organize my money. I'll put the twenties on the bottom and the ones on top and the tens and fives in between. The president's heads have to face the same direction, but I hadn't the time to organize, so there I was searching for a small bill. I was peeling back the bills as quickly as possible so not to hold up the line, when it occurred to me that it felt good to have a wad of bills and for a split second I fell in love with my money and started to show it off to the cashier. That's when one of the twenties pulled between my fingers and ripped right in half while I was flipping it. I felt dumb after that. I was holding half a twenty. 
            "Oh man, I ripped a twenty," I told the cashier.
            "Just take it the bank," he said. 
            For some reason it really bothered me that I ripped a twenty in half. I couldn't stop thinking about, as if somehow I had cheated myself out of some money.
            

The Virus

            
            It wasn't the Green Dragon and the chicken with black bean sauce. It was a virus, a bug, that did me in. My sister caught it too. It's going around. Warnings to you folks. The virus doesn't last long, but it's a bitch. 

The Trotsky's

         
            Beware of the Green Dragon. I ate some chicken with black bean sauce that didn't agree with me. My stomach is usually pretty strong, but it rebelled in this instance. I got the Hershey squirts, the trots, or the Trotsky's, the runs, or whatever you want to call it. 
            This event wasn't as bad as that time I ate fish soup in Mexico, but it was still uncomfortable. 
            I'm not sure why I'm sharing this information. It think it has something to do with publishing a blog once a week. It's the new year and that has been my goal for sometime. Sorry about that, but I have production quotas I have to keep, and sometimes in the haste to make quotas, quality slips a bit. 
            
             
             

Sex War

         
            The couple who lived across the street from me moved out. I found out later that the husband was cheating on his wife and they broke up. That would explain why it felt like she hated men whenever I saw her.
            I'd wave hello to her and she'd either pretend not to see me, or give me a cold, insincere wave back. I was thinking that she was just a bitch. I really started to hate her after a while, but it all makes sense now.
            Had I known what she was going through I would have handled things differently. I would've said, hey wait a minute, I'm just the neighbor! I'm not him! 
            Supposedly, it's a common occurrence for women, and I guess men, to hate the opposite sex after a bad breakup. I certainly can understand it, but I'm not sure I ever felt that way.
            Wait, on second thought, hell yeah I've felt that way.