I’m a renegade parker. Worst yet, I got nabbed. I woke up early this morning and took a train downtown to take care of a parking ticket from a year ago. Red tape. I got off the train and walked over to the hearing office. I never wanted a hearing. All I wanted was leniency on the bail. Somehow I didn’t follow protocol and I received three letters from the city on the same day. The letters all said something different. One of the letters said there was a hearing scheduled for me. I went with that one. I made a point of showing up to avoid more trouble.
Everything was loosey-goosy at first. The woman administering the hearing and I were laughing about our glasses, and how we couldn’t see with them even though I had bifocals and she had trifocals. I liked the woman right off. But then we got down to business. It was very official. The proceedings were recorded on an old cassette tape machine. I don’t have anything against cassette tapes, but it did seem somewhat antiquated. She asked me a few questions. I answered them. I was guilty. I couldn’t talk my way out of it. I told my story and the woman instantly turned on me. The fun vanished in an instant. I tried to negotiate for a reduced bail. That didn’t work. The best I could do was to set up a payment plan. The woman walked me out of the office and her face was cold, as if somehow I offended her with my testimony. I was the victim of a moronic meter maid, but the lady didn’t see it that way.
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