Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Morning Paper


            I woke up and sat down to read the paper, or the modern version online. I scrolled through the headlines. Debt Ceiling Chaos! Man Smashes Car into House! Drunkard Gets Life! Woman Lops Off Husbands Penis! I clicked on that one.  I guess it was morbid fascination. I can’t think of anything worse than having your penis lopped off, death is bad, but life without a penis is worse.
            “He deserved it,” she said.
            She must have really hated that penis.
            I had to run an errand and cash a check. I was driving to the bank listening to NPR, when a story came on about women and famine circumcision. My god has the world gone made? What is this the dark ages? Is pleasure that bad that you have to physically remove it from the face of the earth? I turned off the radio. I couldn’t listen anymore. Poor ladies. Sick men. Religious freaks more than likely destroying gods good work.
            I started to think, what’ s worse? Having your Johnson lopped off (Johnson a sixties term for package), or famine circumcision? Either way you’re screwed.
            

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