Stroller

I don’t mean to be overly critical of baby strollers, but I’ve noticed that they’re much larger than they use to be.

I was walking on the sidewalk when a woman parted the way with a huge stroller. I stepped to the side and moved out of the way for fear of being run over, as did other pedestrians.

The stroller was wide and tall, and frankly I found it offensive, as did other pedestrians. I could see it on their faces as they rushed to move out of the way. If strollers get any larger we may have to register them with the Department of Motor Vehicles and put some turn signals on them and give them a distinctive sounding musical horn.

Strollers aren’t as large in the ghetto. Ghetto kids ride in cheap collapsible strollers that look like they can fold up on a kid at a moments notice. Their plastic wheels look vulnerable like they’re going to wobble off before the next curb, the next crossing.

The Hummer of a stroller I saw the other day had precision wheels, with spokes. You could pump air into the tires and shine up the sidewalls with Armor All. The mother pushing the stroller looked tired and embarrassed, but at the same time, she was forceful and indignant, as she pushed past the hipsters on Vermont boulevard.