I've Sailed Many Ships

I got a text message from my friend Lou, “come on down we’re having Bloody Mary’s. It was a nice warm day. It sounded like a good idea. When I showed up Lou was with his daughter Danielle, her boyfriend Billy and Danielle’s girl friend Gemma. The girls were already toast by the time I showed up. Gemma  was standing on a chair making speeches about sailing many ships, it was amusing. Hours later Lou’s wife came in like a tornado and took him home. The plan was for me to go to Lou’s daughter Danielle’s house, which was walking distance, so not to drive home drunk. At certain point I looked around and I thought what I’m I doing here? I tried to gather everybody up so we could leave. I saw Billy talking to a group of lesbians. There must have been ten of them. Billy was holding court. He was charming the pants off of them. The women seemed mesmerized by him.

I said, “Hey Billy lets hit the road.”

            “I’m not leaving, I love these lesbians, they’re great!

            I walked to Danielle Lou’s daughter.

            “Lets go home now,” I said.

            “I don’t want to leave yet!” she said with attitude.

            I thought I‘d give Gemma a try.

            “Hey “G’ lets get a move on.”

            “I’m not leaving, you can't make me,” she said as she ran away from me.

            So much for the plan, I looked around and left anyway.