Hello Anthony, this is your
government. After reading your last email, we wanted to say that we hope
your aunt Mary makes a full recovery after her surgery. Huntington Memorial is
a fine hospital and Doctor Lee is a outstanding surgeon. According to our records he
only has one malpractice suit pending at this time and it’s an ongoing suit
from 2011. He says he didn’t do it, but his conversations with his wife seem to
suggest something different.
We’ve
noticed that the frequency of emails from your lady friend have decreased in
recent weeks. Don’t worry; according to our algorithms this is a natural
occurrence, but you might want to buy her flowers just in case.
We'd like to let you
know there are other women looking at your facebook account, but they seem to lose
interest after looking at your pictures, as it stands they click on 2.27
pictures before they move on. We suggest that you make improvements in this area.
Well,
Anthony, just one more thing before we go, can you please refrain from calling
the NSA the Nefarious Spy Agency? It’s a matter of national security that we
make this request, and more to
the point, it hurts our feelings.
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