Cult 101

            I know a guy who's trying to start a cult. So far he has no followers. I'm trying to give him tips on how to be a good cult leader, but it's slow going. His wardrobe is all wrong and as far as I can tell he doesn't really have a clear message. More importantly, he doesn't have the gift of gab. I'm not saying you need the gift of gab to be a cult leader, but it helps. If you don't have a good wardrobe and you're not an engaging communicator, then you're pretty much screwed as a cult leader in my estimation. My friend has the desire, and deep down I think he can do it, but he'll have to put the work in. He'll need to come up with a manipulative pitch of some kind. Either that, or let his eyebrows grow out and walk with a cane. Something.
             My friend keeps talking about Plato, but Plato's not going to get him any followers. Plato's not sexy. He needs sexy.