Asses

         
            My mom is getting up there in years. She recently retired from driving. She had a mishap where she tried to apply the brakes to stop her car, but she couldn't move her leg to get to the pedal. It put a scare into her so bad she hung up her keys.
            Now she's relying on private companies for rides. There's a company called Access that caters to old folks and she's been using that service. But instead of calling it Access, she calls it asses. I tried to correct her, but she insists it's asses. 
            It's Access.
            Asses.
            The other day I stopped by her house. She had just gotton back from the grocery store and was putting away her food.
            How'd you get to the grocery store?
            Asses.
            Do they wait for you while you shop?
            No, I waited for over fifty minutes.
            But, do they wait for you while you're in the store?
            No, I waited for fifty minutes.
            Huh? Waited for who?
            Asses!!!!