Dickheads

   
      Dickhead #1
      I was at a red light. It turned green. I didn't even have time to take my foot off the break when the car behind me honked his horn. 
      What a dick!
      I made a left turn onto a one lane street. The car behind me was following real close. I made the slowest left turn I ever made in my life, and proceded to drive like a confused grandfather. The driver behind me was at my mercy. I had complete control of him. Sucker!
      The world is full of dickheads. I'm one of them. But I'm not a true dickhead because I'll admit that I'm a dickhead. A true dickhead has no idea he's a dickhead, or if has an idea, but he won't acknowledge it, or he'll blame someone else for it.
      Dickhead #2 
      I was standing in line waiting to order the Wednesday special. Fish tacos, $1.29 each, when a young man walked up to me. He got right in my face and said, "hey, give me a dollar."
      I said to him, "I don't have a dollar." Which was true, I had twenty dollars. This kid had a tattoo on his face and was thinking he was pretty tough. He was staring me down, looking at me right in the eye. My inner dickhead kicked in and I was holding my ground, staring at him just as hard.
       He said, "you didn't even look in your pocket."
       "I know what I have, I don't need to explain to you," I said.
       "Alright, alright," he said and walked off in a huff. He was holding his phone in one hand. His phone looked a lot nicer than mine.